ZMo ^Qlags (Exchanged 




>S 3503 
R53 
>65 
1921 
‘opy 1 


Polly Wants a Cracker 

Price, 25 Cents 
























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Polly Wants a Cracker 


A Comedy in Two Acts 


By 


GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 


Author of “The Hurdy-Gurdy Girl,” “Step Lively,” “The Thirteenth 
Star,” “ Captain Cranberry,” “Behind the Scenes,” “At the Sign of 
the Shooting Star,” “The Girl from Upper 7 Ranch,” “Leave it 
to Polly,” “A Regular Scream,” “Not on the Progratnme,” “A 
Modern Cinderella,” “On the Quiet,” “A Regular Rah! 
Rah! Boy,” “Sally Lunn,” “Six Times Line,” “Cupid's 
Partner,” “Her First Assignment,” “A Case for Sher¬ 
lock Holmes,” “Ring-Around-a-Rosie,” “Three of a 
Kind,” “The Turn in the Road,” “The Queen of 
Hearts,” etc. 


NOTE 


The professional and moving picture rights in this play are strictly 
reserved and application for the right to produce it should be 
made to the author in care of the publishers. Amateurs may 
produce it without payment of royalty on condition that the name 
of the author appears on all programmes and advertising issued 
in connection with such performances. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

1921 


> > > 




Polly Wants a Cracker 


CHARACTERS 

Jeffrey Wayne. 

Thomas Livingstone Pratt. 
Inspector Doran. 

Marie Pratt-Wayne. 

Mary Wayne. 

Lucerne Neville. 

Nora. 

Scene. —A living-room in Jeffrey Wayne’s home. 

Act I. — An afternoon in October. 

Act II.—The same—fifteen minutes later. 



Copyright, 1921, by Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
As author and proprietor. 

Professional and moving picture rights reserved 
by the author. 

©CI.D 58ti31 





STORY OF THE PLAY 


Jeffrey Wayne, a widower of sixty, marries Marie 
Pratt, a widow of forty. Wayne has a daughter, Mary, 
who is in a private school, and Marie has a son, Tom, 
who is in college. Neither dares to tell the other. 

Mary and Tom are in love. Mary agrees to become 
engaged if Tom can prove his ability to earn a living. 
Not knowing that Wayne is his mother’s husband, Tom 
applies to him for a position and is engaged. On the 
same day Mary, who has a desire to see her stepmother, 
comes home in the make-up for a part that she is to take 
in a school play. 

Lucerne Neville, an old friend of Marie’s, calls un¬ 
expectedly. While they are all together in the living- 
room, the light is suddenly turned out and a valuable 
necklace disappears. Wayne calls a police inspector and 
suspicion is directed in turn towards Tom, Mary, Miss 
Neville and Nora, the housekeeper. In seeking the guilty 
party the identity of the young people becomes known 
and Marie and Wayne decide it is tit-for-tat. The older 
couple find themselves in a position where they are obliged 
to look kindly upon the love affair of the young people. 
The necklace is found and all ends happily. 


CHARACTERS 

Jeffrey Wayne —sixty-two; well built, fine-looking 
man; iron gray hair; nervous wreck; irritable to every 
one but Marie; wears business suit; change to evening 
clothes. 

Thomas Pratt —nineteen; college boy; most extreme 
up-to-date clothes; loud tie and stockings. 


3 




4 


CHARACTERS 


Inspector Doran— thirty; keen, energetic young man 
who never lets any one put anything over; blue suit. 

Mrs. Wayne— beautiful young woman of forty; silk 
negligee; change to evening dress. 

Mary Wayne— eighteen; red wig; an old blue serge 
skirt, white middy, red tie, tarn. 

Lucerne Neville— thirty-eight; an actress; afternoon 
dress, rather showy. 

Nora— fifty; stout; black dress, white apron. 




Polly Wants a Cracker 


ACT I 

SCENE.— Living-room in Jeffrey Wayne's home. 
Time, late afternoon. Double doors c. leading to hall; 
at l. of doors a stairway - leading from room; at l. of 
stairway a door; at l. front French window; at r. a 
fireplace; at r. front a door. A seat in front of fire¬ 
place; tea table with silver service r. c. ; chairs by table; 
armchair down r., facing up stage; divan l. c. front; 
small table with reading lamp back of divan; small desk 
with telephone in space between double doors and 
stairway. 

{At curtain Marie sits on divan; wears silk negligee; 
a book in her lap. She is looking out through the 
French windows, which are slightly open, with a far- 
away, dreamy look. Nora enters, r. f.) 

Nora. Shall I be afther lighting up fer yez, Mrs. 
Wayne ? 

Marie (turns with a start). Oh, yes—yes, you may, 
Nora. (Suddenly rising.) It must be nearly time for 
Mr. Wayne. 

(Hastily places her book on table and starts towards 
stairs. Nora goes up stage to hall door; steps out¬ 
side and szvitches on the lights; reenters.) 

Nora. Will you serve his tea? 

Marie (from stairs). Certainly. 

Nora. It’s too bad we’re short o’ help. 


5 



6 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Marie (as she exits). Yes, it’s a pity. 

Nora (looking after her). Divil a bit you care! 

(Crosses to table and lights reading-lamp; starts to 
exit , r. Mary Wayne enters by French window; 
looks cautiously about.) 

Mary. Nora! 

Nora (turning; surprised). Saints presarve us! And 
who are you to be calling me Nora? 

Mary (coming forward). Can’t you guess? 

Nora. I don’t intind to try. This is me busy day. 

Mary (laughing and giving Nora a hug). It’s Mary! 

Nora. Holy Saint Catherine! And what are yez up 
to now, Miss Mary? (Holds her off and looks at her.) 
Why, yer own father wouldn’t rickognize ye. 

Mary. Fine! That’s just what I want. Nora, I’m 
going to stay here over night. You’ll help me do it, 
won’t you? 

Nora. Ye mean like yez are? Not lit iny wan know? 

Mary. Yes. 

Nora. Hivin be koind! What for? 

Mary. My father has returned from his honeymoon? 

Nora. Shure, he has that. Three days ago. 

Mary. I want to see the new Mrs. Wayne. See her 
in all her glory without her knowing who I am. 

Nora (putting her arm around Mary). Miss Mary, 
you poor darlin’- 

Mary (turning away). Don’t you dare to pity me! 
I’ve made up my mind that I won’t pity myself, and I 
won’t let any one else do it. And I tell you this,—if I 
don’t like the new Mrs. Wayne, my father will never see 
me in this house again. 

Nora. And what’ll ye do ? Where’ll yez go? 

Mary. I have it all planned. If I decide against 
Mrs. Wayne, I’m going to leave school and go into the 
movies. 

Nora. Now, Miss Mary, darlin’- 

Mary. You can’t wheedle me, Nora. My mind is 
made up. 




POLLY WANTS A CRACKER ^ 

Nora. Well, now maybe yez won’t find the missus so 
bad. She seems ter mean well. 

Mary. I’ll decide that for myself. Of course, every 
one knows father has been taken in. Look at his age 
and hers! And look at his disposition! 

Nora. Shure, the young woman hez a good stidy 
nerve. I admire her grit. 

Mary. Of course the designing creature can’t flatter 
herself that any one will believe she wanted anything but 
the money. Goodness! My father must be out of his 
head. 

Nora (soothingly). Well, now, darlint, don’t be afther 
gittin’ all upset about it. Shure yer father wuz most 
likely thinkin’ he’d git a mother fer yez. 

Mary. Well, if that has ever been in his mind, he has 
certainly taken his time about it. No, thank you! I’ve 
never known what it was to have a mother; I’ll decide 
for myself about having one now. 

Nora. But, listen, darlint, it won’t be for long. You’re 
away at school the most o’ the toime and whin yez gits 
through school it won’t be iny toime before yez’ll be 
afther gittin’ married yersilf. 

Mary. I’m not in any hurry about that, thank you. 
No, my mind is made up, and when a Wayne once comes 
to a decision no arguments will prevail. 

Nora. Roight yez are! I wouldn’t waste me breath, 
but if I might be afther askin’ a quistion or two—what 
makes yez think yez can act? 

Mary. Look at me now! 

Nora. Shure, that’s what I’m doin’. 

Mary. This costume is for a part in a play. 

Nora. Is it now? 

Mary. I guess if I can make up so even my own 
father won’t know me- 

Nora (cautiously ). Yez haven’t got that far yit! 

Mary (airily). Why, I’m some artist! 

Nora. Where’ll yez git the money to go with? 

Mary (grandly). I’m not worrying about that. I’ll 
steal it from Dad if I have to. 



8 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Nora. Shure, yez out o’ yer hid! 

Mary. Oh, I’d just as soon! If I find he has taken 
my home away from me, I should worry about taking a 
few dollars away from him. Come on, Nora. ( Pulls 
Nora to door, r.) You give me some dinner in the 
kitchen and I’ll plan a way to get a view of Mrs. Wayne. 
I can watch her through a crack in the door when she 
has dinner or something like that. 

Nora. But suppose they sees yez? 

Mary. I’m safe. Father won’t know me, and I can 
make up some kind of a story to get by if I have to. 

Nora. Shure, it’s hopeless yez are, and always wuz; 
and I’m jist putty in yer hands. 

Mary. Dear old Nora! 

Nora. Shure, yez can blarney me all yez loikes, but 
it’s no good’ll come o’ this foolishness, mark me words! 
(Bell rings.) There’s the bell! Go along down with 
yez if yer goin’, while I answers the door. ( Starts c.) 

Mary. You’ll stand by me, Nora? 

Nora ( looks back). Shure yez know I will with the 
lasht breath in me body! (Mary exits, r. f., throwing 
Nora a kiss as she goes. Nora looks after her for a 
second in despair, then exits, c .; slight pause; reenters, 
followed by Lucerne Neville.) Roight in this way, 
ma’am. I’ll spheak to Mrs. Wayne. 

Lucerne. Thank you. 

(Nora exits by stairs. Lucerne looks about the room 
with interest. Marie enters by stairs, dressed for 
dinner.) 

Marie. Lucerne, my dear girl! 

(Hurries to her and kisses her.) 

Luc. Oh, Marie, forgive me for breaking into your 
honeymoon, but I’m in trouble way over my head, and I 
just had to come to see you! You’re always so sensible 
and can give such excellent advice! 

Marie. Let me have your coat, dear. 

(Nora comes down-stairs.) 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


9 


Luc. Oh, no, I mustn’t stay! 

Marie. Oh, yes, you must! 

Luc. But it’s really an intrusion. 

Marie (helping her off with her coat). Nonsense! 
Nora, take Miss Neville’s coat, please, and bring the tea. 
(Nora takes coat and exits, c. Marie leads Lucerne 
to divan.) Remember, this isn’t a first honeymoon for 
either of us! That makes a difference. 

Luc. You are happy, Marie? 

Marie. That doesn’t express it! But we are going 
to talk about you. How do you happen to be out here? 

Luc. Came out to see Flossie Herrick. She told me 
you were just around the corner. My dear, she never 
finished whatever it was she was saying. I had my coat 
on and was down the steps before she knew what was 
happening. 

Marie. The situation must be desperate. 

Luc. Desperate? Wait until you hear! Marie, I 
never should have gone on the stage. 

Marie. Well, of course- (Stops.) 

Luc. Oh, go on and say it! I don’t mind. Every 
one told me not to do it and now they are privileged to 
say, “ I told you so! ” 

Marie. But I thought we had made the mistake— 
that you were a success. 

Luc. I? A success? I should say I was. Why, 
I’m a regular knock-out wherever I go. Why, in that 
stock company out in Grand Rapids the leading lady was 
so jealous she was going to leave if the manager didn’t 
discharge me. She had all her worry for nothing. 
Every one had to leave. Oh, I’m a success, just as I 
knew I was going to be! 

Marie. Then what is the difficulty? 

Luc. Money! No one should think of going on the 
stage unless they have saved up a million dollars. Then 
perhaps they could afford to make the try. 

Marie. That doesn’t seem like a very hopeful outlook 
for our future aspiring stars. 

Luc. Oh, there’s plenty of outlook. I don’t believe 



io POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 

there ever was a business with quite so much outlook, 
and it’s always hopeful; but you can’t eat and buy cos¬ 
tumes on outlook. I have been on the stage less than a 
year and I have been stranded five times! 

Marie. That doesn’t seem like very good luck. 

Luc. Oh, that’s lucky compared with some of the 
people I know. And now I’ve got the most wonderful 
offer, the best I’ve had, and I’ve got to have four new 
costumes, strictly up to date—silk negligee, riding clothes, 
tailored suit and an evening gown without any back at 
all, and where or how am I going to get them? Isn’t it 
a crime ? 

Marie. I could lend you some things- 

Luc. ( interrupting ). Marie, talk sense, love! Lend 
me some things! What do you think would be left of 
them? No, we have got to think of a way. I have just 
one chance, and it is so faint I hardly dare call it a 
chance, and isn’t it just my luck and a perfect crime? 
You remember that frightfully old Egyptian necklace 
and charm of mine? 

Marie. Yes! 

Luc. Well, I raised a little money on that some time 
ago, and since then I have found that the charm is price¬ 
less. There are only two or three of them left in all the 
world. Of course I hurried to the old duffer who loaned 
me the money with all kinds of visions in my head of all 
the costumes I needed. And what do you suppose the 
old criminal had done ? Sold it! 

Marie. But he hadn’t any right! 

Luc. He just got by. The interest was a few days 
overdue and he claimed he supposed I wasn’t ever com¬ 
ing for it. 

Marie. Of course you have taken it up. 

Luc. Oh, yes! I went to a lawyer and he is working 
to trace it. It seems some one, somewhere, has an agent 
trying to buy those charms and cheating people as to 
their real value. Now can you beat that? I had some¬ 
thing in my possession that was priceless and I let it go 
for about fifty dollars. 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


II 


(Nora enters , c., with tray , which she carries to tea 
table.) 

Marie. Well, it is possible that you will get it back. 

Luc. Yes, possible! ( Meaningly.) Believe me, if I 
could once lay my eyes on that charm I’d get it back in 
about two seconds. 

Marie ( warningly as she discovers Nora). You are 
talking wild, Lucerne. You don’t mean what you say. 

Luc. ( discovers Nora). No, of course not. Let’s 
change the subject. How is your son? 


(Nora drops a plate of tea cakes.) 




Nora! Good gracious! 


Nora ( starting to pick up the cakes). I beg yez par¬ 
don, ma’am. I heard something that shtartled me. 

Luc. That’s odd. I didn’t hear a thing. Did you, 
Marie? 

Marie ( impatiently, as she picks up some of the cakes). 
Yes, I certainly did. ( Takes plate from Nora.) All 
right, Nora. (Nora exits. Marie turns to Lucerne.) 
Lucerne, that was the most unfortunate remark. What 
ever possessed you to mention Tom? 

Luc. Why shouldn’t I? Haven’t I always been in¬ 
terested in the dear little fellow? 

Marie ( with a groan). You certainly have. Do you 
realize how old the dear little fellow is? 

Luc. Well—er—it’s all of twelve years since I saw 
him, and he must have been six or seven at the time 
and—good heaven, now he must be- 

Marie. Nineteen! 

Luc. Impossible! 

Marie. You would say quite possible if you should 
see him. 

Luc. ( regarding Marie curiously). And—er—how 
does Mr. Wayne regard his stepson? 

Marie. He hasn’t seen him. In fact he has never 
heard of him. 

Luc. Marie! 



12 POLLY WANTS A CRACKER’ 

Marie. Oh* I know what you think! I despise my¬ 
self. 

Luc. But, Marie, surely in the end you will have 
to- ( Hesitates .) 

Marie. Yes, yes, of course. Of course I intended 
to all the time, but this has meant so much to me and I 
couldn’t let anything stand in the way. You know how 
I have struggled to keep things going and to educate 
Tommy—to give him what other boys had—and—and I 
know Mr. Wayne will mean so much to Tommy if I can 
only manage things right. 

Luc. But, my dear, wouldn’t it have been better in 
the beginning- 

Marie ( interrupting ). No, no! You don’t under¬ 
stand. I wanted to, but I didn’t dare. Mr. Wayne 
thinks he doesn’t care for boys. I must have a little time 
to bring things about. Mr. Wayne is wonderful to me 
and I’m trying to be happy, but I am worried. 

Luc. I’m so sorry I spoke. You don’t suppose the 
maid- 

Marie. I don’t know. She isn’t the maid. She is 
the housekeeper—has been here since the days of the 
first Mrs. Wayne. 

Luc. I’m desperately sorry, Marie. Bring my trou¬ 
bles to you, and then make trouble for you in the bargain. 

Marie. We won’t call it trouble until we have to. 
Nora seems like a good soul. I’ll see what I can do. 

Jeffrey Wayne ( speaking in the hall). Marie, my 
dear! 

Marie ( warningly ). Mr. Wayne! 

Wayne ( coming to door, c.). Are you here? 

Marie ( going towards door). Yes, Jeffrey. 

(Wayne enters.) 

Wayne. Good-evening, my dear. ( Kisses her.) 
And how have you been to-day? Lonesome? Just a 
little bit lonesome ? Admit you have! 

Marie. Well, a little, until an old friend arrived un¬ 
expectedly. ( Turns and calls Lucerne.) Lucerne! 





POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 13 

(Lucerne joins them.) Miss Neville, this is my hus¬ 
band. 

Wayne ( shaking hands with Lucerne). Miss Ne¬ 
ville—delighted, I’m sure! 

Luc. And I can’t tell you how glad I am to meet 
you, Mr. Wayne. 

Marie. I have known Miss Neville since we were 
girls, and we worked together at Reynard’s until she left 
to go on the stage. 

Wayne. The stage? Indeed? Most interesting. 

Marie. Come up-stairs with me, Lucerne, and take 
off your hat. 

Luc. No, no, I couldn’t think of such a thing. 

Marie. Of course you are going to have dinner with 
us? Isn’t she, Jeffrey? 

Wayne. Most assuredly, most assuredly! Wouldn’t 
listen to anything else! 

Luc. But I’m sure it’s intruding—just at this time. 

Wayne. Nonsense. It will be a great pleasure for 
us. 

Luc. Well, if you insist, I’m sure it will be delightful. 

(Goes towards stairs.) 

Wayne ( quickly, to Marie). Hated like the mis¬ 
chief to say that—spoil our evening; but have to be po¬ 
lite, I suppose. 

Marie. I will be right down and give you your tea. 

Wayne. That’s right, most radiant of all the stars! 

Marie {protesting). Jeffrey! 

{Follows Lucerne to stairs; they exeunt. Wayne 
stands watching her, smiling; suddenly grows seri¬ 
ous; rings bell. Walks forward; takes a small jewel 
box from pocket; opens it, and stands looking at it 
with much satisfaction. Nora enters.) 

Nora. Did you ring, sir? 

Wayne {quickly closes box, and returns it to pocket). 
Yes, I did, and you are the one I want to see, Nora. 


14 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


(Glances towards the stairs.) Er—Nora- (Draws 

close to Nora.) I had a letter this morning from Mary. 

Nora. Did yez, sir? I hope she’s well. 

Wayne. Oh, yes, she’s well—very well—very well 
indeed. Er—Nora, I meant to have said something about 
this before. You haven’t by any chance spoken of Mary 
to Mrs. Wayne? 

Nora. I hev not. 

Wayne. Good! And, Nora, don’t say anything about 
her just at present. 

Nora {belligerently) . May I ask, sir, if it’s how Mrs. 
Wayne don’t approve of Miss Mary? 

Wayne. God bless my soul, no! What foolishness! 
She’s never heard of Mary. She’ll approve all right 
when she does hear about her. 

Nora. Thin why not till her? 

Wayne {beginning to grow irritable). Not yet! Not 
yet! Nora, I’ve been a lonely man for years, especially 
these years Mary has been away at school, and I’m not a 
well man either. I saw a chance for happiness. I 
wouldn’t allow anything to stand in the way of that 
chance. Everything will work out all right later, and 
Mrs. Wayne will mean a great deal to Mary. 

Nora. I’m sure I hope so; an’ I dare say Mrs. Wayne 
hez somethin’ she’s kapin’ from you. 

Wayne. What in the devil do you mean? 

Nora. What I says. Ain’t she loikely to hev skill- 
tons in her closet as well as yersilf? 

Wayne. Do you dare to refer to my daughter as a 
skeleton in a closet ? 

Nora. Ain’t that what yez makin’ of her? 

Wayne. How dare you? You’ve been in my house 
so long you think you’re privileged to say anything! 
Well, you’re not! You understand? You’re not! 

Nora {stiffly). Shure, I understand. I’m intilligint 
at toimes. 

Wayne. There, Nora, I didn’t mean to hurt you. 
You’ve served me faithfully and I appreciate it. You 
know I do. (Slips a bill into her hand.) 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


15 


Nora. Thank ye, sir. Long life to yez! 

Wayne. I understand my own business. I know 
what I’m doing. 

Nora. Yis, sir, the Waynes always do. 

Wayne. And I can depend upon you, Nora, to say 
nothing until I am ready? 

Nora. You kin that. I’d be the lasht to be afther 
makin’ trouble fer yez. 

Wayne. Yes, yes, of course. ( Suddenly and explo¬ 
sively.) Trouble? What are you talking about? There 
wouldn’t be any trouble. It’s just that—that—it’s best 
to wait a little. Confound it! Can’t you understand ? 

Nora {solemnly) . Yis, sor. I understhand perfectly. 

(Bell rings.) 

Wayne ( exasperated ). There! For heaven’s sake, 
answer the bell! You remind me of the black flag on a 
pirate ship! 

(Nora exits, c. Wayne walks up and down the room 
several times trying to pull himself together. Nora 
reenters .) 

Nora. A young man to see yez, sir. 

Wayne. Young man? Who is it? 

Nora. He says his name is Livingstone. 

Wayne. Don’t know any such person. Another re¬ 
porter, probably. I’m not in. 

Nora {calmly). I told him ye wuz. 

Wayne. Well, don’t you know any better than that? 
Good Lord! After the years you’ve worked for me, 
can’t you- 

Nora. He says he wuz sint out from the city—some¬ 
thing about working fer yez. 

Wayne. Well, why didn’t you say so in the first 
place? What are you standing there for? Why don’t 
you show him in ? 

(Nora exits; ushers Thomas Pratt in; withdraws. 
Wayne is standing back to door. Tom carries a 
brief case.) 



i6 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Tom (stepping forward). Mr. Wayne? 

Wayne ( turns and gives Tom one look). Oh, my 
God! 

Tom ( completely upset). Are you ill, sir? 

(Drops case in chair hy table.) 

Wayne ( dropping on divan). Passing out, I think. 
(Tom rushes to tea table and tries to find something for 
Wayne to take.) Don’t do that! (Tom hurries to 
Wayne and fans him with his hat.) Don’t do that! 
(Tom hurries to telephone.) Don’t do that! Sit down! 
(Tom drops into chair by telephone.) Not there! 
You’re on my hat! (Tom leaps to his feet.) Don’t sit 
down! Stand up! Did they send you out from Lan- 
non’s? 

Tom ( with a gasp). Y-Y-Yes, sir. 

Wayne. Didn’t they know any better ? I said a man! 
How old are you? 

Tom. Nineteen. 

Wayne. I knew it! I knew it! The most obnoxious 
age in the entire span of our years! And your name, I 
suppose, is Roderick or Clarence or- 

Tom (eagerly). No, sir, it’s Thomas Livingstone. 

Wayne (hopefully). People call you Tom? 

Tom. Yes, sir! 

Wayne. H’m! One thing in your favor. 

(Tom takes up brief case.) 

Tom (eagerly and rapidly). And I’ve begun your 
work, sir. Mr. Lannon said he was sure I was going to 
be most satisfactory. (Opens brief case.) Just have a 
look, will you, sir? If you’ll just leave it to me, I’ll 
simply walk away with this job, and- 

Wayne (rising and walking towards Tom). Stop! 
Stop it! Don’t jabber at me that way. Talk slowly and 
distinctly. God bless my soul! What ails young people 
nowadays? (Tom nervously takes a cake from plate on 
table and turns it over and over in his hands. ) Well, what 
are you doing now? 




POLLY WANTS A CRACKER lj 

Tom ( helplessly ). I beg your pardon, sir. I didn’t 
realize what I was doing. 

(Tom is undecided what to do with the cake.) 

Wayne. Put it down! (Tom starts to eat the cake.) 
Not down your throat! Down on the table. (Tom 
drops cake on table. Wayne takes up a teacup which he 
waves at Tom while he talks.) You should know what 
you are doing. You should keep your wits about you. 
The idea of having something in your hand and not 
knowing it. {Drops cup.) There! Now you see what 
you’ve done? 

Tom. I, sir? 

Wayne. Yes, you! You’ve got me all nerved up! 
Young people always do! Get away from the table! 
Sit down! (Tom starts to sit down.) Stand up! (Tom 
leaps to his feet.) Sit down! Not there! Stand up! 
(Tom tries to follow directions.) What are you doing? 
Don’t you know whether you want to sit down or stand 
up ? I never saw anything like you. 

Tom {weakly). Maybe I’d better go, sir. 

Wayne. Go? What are you talking about? Didn’t 
you say you had started my work ? 

Tom. Y-Y-Yes, sir. 

Wayne {sits l. of tea table). Well, how much time 
do you think I’ve got to waste? I’ve been away two 
weeks, and my secretary ill all that time, and all this mess 
of work piling up and nobody in the office touched it! 
And what do you think they gave as a reason ? Said they 
didn’t dare to. What do you think of that? 

Tom. I’m not a bit surprised! 

Wayne. What do you mean ? 

Tom. I mean—that is—I should have said—if you 
had been in my place—or I’d been in yours, or they’d 
been in ours, or we’d been in theirs, or—or—or- 

Wayne. Didn’t I tell you not to jabber at me! 
Show me the work you have started. 

Tom. Yes, sir. {Tiptoes across to Wayne.) 

Wayne. What are you walking like a cat for? I 
don’t want any one pussy-footing around me! Always 



i8 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


feel as if they were going to stick a knife in me when I'm 
not looking! (Tom takes some papers from case and 
hands them to Wayne.) You're handing them to me 
upside down! (Tom hastily turns them.) Lannon’s 
right. This is good work. You must know something 
even if you don't look it. Where’s page 8? 

Tom ( finds it for him). Here, sir. (Wayne loses his 
hold on papers and they fly in every direction.) Merry 
Christmas! 

Wayne ( springing to his feet). Now look what 
you’ve done! (At the top of his voice.) Listen, young 
man! There’s the study! (Points l.) Go in there and 
get to work—by yourself! Don’t speak to me unless you 
have to. You may be able to do the work, but I never 
saw anything like you. You’d have me in bed with a 
trained nurse within twenty-four hours! 

Tom. Yes, sir, I would, sir. I mean I will, sir—I 
mean- 

Wayne. Stop it! Work! but for the love of heaven, 
don’t talk! 

(Exit by stairs. Tom draws a long breath.) 

Tom. Holy smoke! 

(Gathers up papers from floor. Exits, l., leaving brief 
case on chair. Marie enters by stairs; she carries a 
little silk vanity bag. She rings; slight pause. Nora 
enters, r.) 

Nora. Did yez want me, ma’am ? 

Marie. Yes. I have a little bag here. I’m not going 
to use it any more. I thought you might like it. 

(Hands it to her.) 

Nora (delighted). Sure, ma’am. That’s kind of 
yez. Long loife to yez and may yez always hev plinty. 

Marie. I’m very happy here, Nora. You think Mr. 
Wayne is happy, too? 

Nora. Shure, he is that, ma’am. It ain’t well he is 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 19 

at all, at all. It’s his nerves (Marie nods.), and it do 
be wonderful how yez gits along with him. 

Marie. You wouldn’t do anything to disturb his 
happiness ? 

Nora. Not I, ma’am. 

Marie ( meaningly ). Then of course you wouldn’t 
repeat any little thing you happen to hear? 

Nora. I would not! If I does say it as shouldn’t, 
I’m foine at minding me own business and lettin’ other 
paple’s alone. 

Marie. Good! I don’t know a better quality to pos¬ 
sess. I think we understand each other, Nora. I’m 
quite sure we’ll be good friends. 

Nora. Shure, I hope so, ma’am. I’ll do me bist. 

Marie. So will I. I realize it isn’t the easiest thing 
in the world for you to have me come in here. 

Nora. Shure, an’ yez hasn’t done inything to make it 
hard yit. 

Marie. That’s good. I’ll try to keep up my record. 

Nora. Is that all, ma’am? 

Marie. Yes, thank you. 

(Nora exits, r. f. Marie turns to tea table. Tom 
enters, l., after the brief case.) 

Tom. I beg your pardon, I forgot- 

Marie {turns; with a cry). Thomas Livingstone 
Pratt, what are you doing here? 

Tom {equally astonished) . Mother! 

Marie {looking towards stairs). For heaven’s sake, 
hush! 

Tom. What’s the matter? Are you trying to lift the 
tea service? 

Marie. What are you doing in this house? 

Tom {slowly). We-ell—I suppose I may as well tell 
you. I’m working for Mr. Wayne. 

Marie. Working? 

Tom. Of course you are surprised. 

Marie. Am I to understand you have left college? 

Tom. Temporarily, so to speak. 



20 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Marie. Expelled ? 

Tom. Not exactly. 

Marie. I’ll have the truth, if you please. 

Tom. Not this time. 

Marie. This and every other time! 

Tom. Every other time, but this isn’t one of the 
others! 

Marie. Do you think you are bright? 

Tom. I don’t think, I know! I’m the original Lin¬ 
coln penny! 

Marie. That’s just about enough, young man. 

Tom {uneasily). How long are you going to be visit¬ 
ing here ? 

Marie. Visiting here? This is my home. 

Tom. This? Your home? You—you don’t mean 
that old powder keg is the man you’ve married ? 

Marie. Are you referring to Mr. Wayne? 

Tom. You bet your sweet life I am! Tell me, for 
heaven’s sake ! Don’t keep me in suspense! 

Marie {with dignity). Mr. Wayne is my husband! 

Tom. Oh, mama! Sweet papa! Feed the hungry! 
Help the fallen ! Save the- 

Marie {zvarningly) . Thomas- 

Tom. What ever made you do it ? 

Marie. I love Mr. Wayne and- 

Tom. Oh, hel- 

Marie {with a gasp). Thomas Pratt! 

Tom {continuing). —elp me stand up under the blow! 

For heaven’s sake, mother- 

Marie. Hush! 

Tom. Why so much lullaby music? {Suddenly as 
the truth dawns on him.) Sa-ay—doesn’t my revered 
stepfather know about me? 

Marie. Not yet ! 

Tom. But soon! 

Marie. Well, I don’t know how soon. You see, Mr. 
Wayne doesn’t care for boys, and- 

Tom. I surmised as much! 

Marie. It will be all right later. Mr. Wayne is go¬ 
ing to mean a great deal to you! 











POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


21 


Tom. He does already! 

Marie. But you must go right away! I can’t tell him 
about you now. 

Tom. You needn’t tell him if you don’t want to ! I’m 
not fussy about that; but, fond parent, here I stay ! 

Marie. Tom! 

Tom. No use! You’ve walked out and done as you 
pleased without consulting me. Now I claim the same 
privilege. Please remember that I’m not five years old 
any longer! 

Marie. I wish you were! There’d be something do¬ 
ing around here for the next few minutes! 

Tom. I don’t doubt that in the least! 

Marie. As it is, you are only nineteen, and I’m paying 
for your education and I rather guess you’ll do as I say 
for a while longer! 

Tom. I’m willing to, as a general thing! I appreciate 
fully what you do for me, but I can’t allow you to inter¬ 
fere in this affair. 

Marie. That is a nice way for you to speak to me! 
I assure you I am very proud of you. 

Tom. But you don’t understand. I was sent here. 
There’s a special reason for my being in this house. 

Marie. What on earth do you mean ? 

Tom. That I can’t tell you. 

Marie. You will tell me, or you’ll walk out that door! 

Tom. In the past when you’ve talked like that, little 
Tom has shrivelled and obeyed; but this time little 
Tommy has a come-back! If you make me walk out that 
door, I’ll tell Mr. Wayne who I am before I walk out! 

Marie. Tom! 

Tom. I know it sounds awful, but you are forcing 
me to it! I’m sorry. For heaven’s sake, forgive me. 
You would, if you understood. ( Walks up and down 
room.) Ye gods ! I have to remain in this house! I have 
to! (Wayne enters by stairs.) That’s all there is about 
it. I have to ! 

Wayne ( coming down the stairs.) Have to what? 

(Tom and Marie turn with a start.) 


22 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Tom. Have to—have to— walk! Walk up and 

down the room when I’m working on anything important. 

Wayne. Well, do your walking in the study. What 
are you in here for? 

Tom ( picking up case). The brief case. 

Wayne. I believe you said your name was Living¬ 
stone ? 

Tom. Yes, sir—Livingstone. 

Wayne. Mr. Livingstone—Mrs. Wayne. 

Tom ( making Marie a low bow). I’m pleased to 
meet you. 

Wayne. Or perhaps you have already been getting 
acquainted ? 

Marie {faintly). Yes, we have—been trying to. 

Tom. Yes, yes indeed. We already seem like old 
friends! 

Wayne. H’m! I judge it wouldn’t take you long to 
arrive at that point. And now if you have all you need 
to work with, we can get along nicely without your so¬ 
ciety. 

Tom. Yes, sir—certainly, sir. {Starts to exit l.) 

Wayne {as Tom is about to exit, turns to Marie). 
Well, fairest rose in the garden- (Tom in the door¬ 

way chokes violently.) Well, what is the matter with 
you? 

Tom. I—I swallowed my Adam’s apple. [Exit. 

Wayne {looking after him). I don’t know how they 
ever made such a mistake as to send that out here to 
work for me. Can you imagine having him under foot 
all the time? 

Marie {pours tea). I suppose it might be trying, but 
I rather like young people—especially boys. 

Wayne. Every one for their fancy, of course, but if I 
had to have either around, I’d say let it be a girl! 

Marie. But, don’t you think a boy can be so helpful? 

Wayne. Can be, but isn’t; and a girl is usually amus¬ 
ing or attractive to look at. 

Marie. Yes, but still I think I’m stronger for boys. 

Wayne. With all due regard for your judgment, my 
dear, I still prefer girls. 




POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 23 

Marie ( handing him a cup). Just as you like it, I 
believe. 

Wayne. And from the fairest hand in the world! 

Marie. You spoil me completely. 

Wayne. Impossible. Couldn t be done. My heaven, 
(Looking about.) I didn’t suppose there was any such 
joy left for me in this world! 

Marie. And you wouldn’t let anything—any little 
thing spoil our happiness ? 

Wayne. Certainly not! Now, don’t look like that! 

Marie. No, no, I won’t; but, Jeffrey, I’ve been 
through so much ever since I was sixteen, and this seems 
almost too wonderful to be true. 

Wayne. Nothing is going to be too wonderful for 
you, Marie! You have taken a chance at living with 
the worst disposition on earth and- 

Marie. Don’t say that. The more you say it, the 
nearer you come to making it true. 

Wayne. All right, then. I’m the sweetest tempered 
being on earth. (Rises, takes jewel box from pocket; 
goes to door; looks out; returns.) Marie, see what I 
have picked up for you. (Opens box.) 

Marie (goes to Wayne; gives a cry as she looks at 
box). Jeffrey! Where did you get that? 

Wayne. Odd you should ask me that, for I can’t tell 
you. In fact it’s rather dangerous to have it just now. 
You will have to wait a little about wearing it. There 
are only two or three of them in the world. (Takes neck¬ 
lace from box and puts it around her neck.) Probably 
some Oriental princess has worn this in the past, but 
none fairer than my princess! 

(Marie quickly takes it off.) 

Marie. Oh, Jeffrey, it’s wonderful; but it makes me 
nervous. I can’t bear the feel of the thing! 

(Places it in box which Wayne puts upon tea table.) 

Wayne (puts an arm about her, and leads her towards 



24 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


fireplace). There, my dear; I didn’t intend to make you 
nervous. Come over here by the fire. ( Leads her to 
divan.) I didn’t know you could be nervous. 

(Suddenly the lights go out; the firelight is dint and 
only Wayne and Marie can he seen; there is a 
scream from some one near the stairs.) 

Nora (is heard). Holy Saint Catherine! Who are 
yez ? Git away from me. 

Wayne. What the devil has happened? Who turned 
off the lights ? 

Tom (is heard). Where the deuce is that reading 
light ? 

(A scream from some one near the table.) 

Marie. I’ve got some one! 

Mary (is heard). Let me go! 

Tom. At last! (Switches on reading lamp.) I 
thought I’d never find it! 

(Tom is revealed standing by reading light; Lucerne 
at foot of stairs; Nora just inside door, c.; Mary 
near tea table struggling to get away from Marie.) 

Wayne (is half-way to door, c.). What in heaven’s 
name- (Suddenly.) Marie! The necklace! 

Marie (looking at tea table). It’s gone! 

Wayne. So that’s it! Who’s that girl ? 

Marie. I don’t know. I never saw her before! 

Nora. Shure, she’s jist a new maid I’m afther hiring. 

Wayne. Is that so ? Who gave you authority to hire 
help in my house? 

Marie. Strange you didn’t say anything about it! 

Nora. Shure, I didn’t shuppose it was nicissary at 
all, at all. Youse know we nade hilp bad enough. 

Marie. That’s perfectly true. 

Wayne. Where did you find the girl? 

Nora. She is the laundress’ niece—she come over wid 
some shirtwaists and I hired her. 




POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


25 


Wayne. H’m! I don’t like the looks of her at all. 
(To Mary.) What’s your name? Well, are you dumb? 

Mary. No, sir. I’m Polly O’Toole. 

Wayne. Well, Polly O’Toole, what were you doing in 
this room and so close to that tea table ? 

Mary (uses slight brogue). I didn’t know any wan 
was in here and—I was hungry—and—oh, honest ter 
Gawd, Mr. Wayne, I didn’t want nothin’ but a cracker! 

Wayne. And the rest of you were hungry also ? The 
room seemed quite fully occupied all of a sudden! 

Luc. (with dignity). I just came down to dinner. 

Wayne. Was it you that screamed? 

Luc. Yes. The lights went out, and some one grabbed 
me by the arm and I was startled. 

Wayne. Grabbed you by the arm ? Then what ? 

Luc. They passed me—I should think they might 
have gone out the window. 

Wayne. Nora, whom were you talking to? 

Nora. How could I tell? It was black as a pocket. 
All I know—they had me by the arm and I thought I 
was bein’ kidnapped. 

Wayne (thoughtfully). H’m. The same one. 

Nora. Shure, that couldn’t be. They came at me 
from this room and wint out the front door. 

Wayne. Out the front door? 

Nora. Shure! Didn’t you hear it slam? 

Wayne. No ! 

Tom. I did! 

Wayne. Oh, you did? What were you doing in this 
room ? 

Tom (glances at Lucerne; she gives him a startled 
look). I don’t like to say. 

Wayne. Oh, you don’t? 

Marie. I don’t see why you don’t talk to this girl! 
She was right here by the tea table, and could have taken 
the box and handed it to an accomplice very easily. 

Wayne. How do I know Livingstone isn’t the ac¬ 
complice ? 

Mary. Does he call himself Livingstone? 

Wayne. Isn’t that his name? 



26 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Mary. It is not. 

Tom. Don’t listen to her, Mr. Wayne. I never saw 
the girl before in my life. 

Wayne (to Mary). Do you know this young man" 

Mary. Shure, I do. He’s Tommy Pratt! (Marie 
and Tom give a gasp.) He’s going wid a chum of mine 
and he parks in her front parlor four nights out the 
seven every week of his life. 

(Marie is appalled and Tom looks at Mary with his 
mouth open.) 

Tom (struggling to speak), I—I—she—she—it’s an 
outrage! 

Wayne. That’s enough! 

Marie. Why don’t you search the girl and the boy ? 

Wayne. I haven’t any authority to search any one. 
I’ll leave that for the police. 

Luc. Police! 

Wayne. Certainly. We’ll have an inspector here at 
once. 

Luc. I’ll just step up to my room, if you don’t mind. 

Nora. And I’ll be seeing afther the dinner. 

Tom. And I’ll go back to work. 

Wayne. Not so fast! 

(Goes to telephone table; opens drawer, and takes out 
revolver.) 

Marie. Jeffrey! What are you going to do? 

Wayne. No one stirs one step out of this room until 
the inspector arrives! (Nora crosses herself, Lucerne 
sinks down on the stairs, Tom goes limp, and Mary be¬ 
gins to cry. Wayne at telephone.) Give me Broxton 
190! 


CURTAIN 


ACT II 

SCENE. —Same as in Act I. 

(At curtain, Wayne stands by c. door; Marie in arm¬ 
chair down r. ; Lucerne on divan. Mary sits at 
R. of tea table, Nora at l. Tom stands down l., 
his hands in his pockets; he studies his shoes with a 
thoughtful air; the ladies are all decidedly nervous.) 

Luc. Really, my dear Mr. Wayne, it seems as if you 
are making a great deal out of a very ordinary occur¬ 
rence. 

Wayne. I don’t call it ordinary. 

Luc. Well, of course, there are some things that do 
seem unusual. 

Tom ( looking up). I’ll say they do! 

Wayne (to Tom). I don’t know as any one is par¬ 
ticularly interested in what you say. 

Nora. Shure, an’ I don’t see why we has ter sit here 
like dummies wid the roast spilin’ in the ovin, whin any 
wan wid half an eye could see it wuz wan o’ thim fellers 
that got away, that sthole the necklace. 

Wayne. Perhaps half an eye would have done if the 
lights had been on; but two eyes wide open didn’t count 
in the dark. 

Nora. It’s insulted I am! I—that’s afther workin’ 
fer yez twinty years ! 

Wayne. Did I say you stole the necklace? 

Nora. Yez did not! I’m afther thinkin’ yez ain’t got 
the nerve. 

Wayne ( getting excited). Is that so? My heaven, 
Nora, you are getting to a point where- 

Marie ( interrupting, gently). Jeffrey, it will be so 
much better if you don’t get excited. 

Wayne. Excited? My dear, who’s excited? I’m 
not! I’m calm as a clock. 


*7 



28 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Mary. What koind? An alarm clock? 

(Tom laughs.) 

Wayne. Young man, you may laugh out the other 
side of your mouth when the officer arrives. 

Tom. Maybe, but—( Glances around the room.) I bet 
I won’t lack for company. 

Nora. What does yer mean by that, you fresh 
young- ( Bell rings.) 

Marie {relieved). There’s the officer! 

(Wayne exits, c. Nora crosses herself.) 

Luc. {with a shiver). Isn’t this awful? 

Marie {anxiously). It certainly is. {Looks from 
Lucerne to Tom.) If—if any one of you did take the 
necklace, it would be so much better to say so and— 
and—explain how you happened to do it. 

Mary. Don’t all sphake at once! 

Nora {uneasily). What are they doin’ in the hall? 
Why don’t they come in? 

Tom. Don’t ask embarrassing questions. 

Nora. Shure, I ain’t askin’ the likes o’ you iny ques¬ 
tions at all, at all. 

Tom. Aw —Nora, don’t you like me a little bit? 

Nora {half laughing). That’s jist what I likes yez— 
a little bit. 

(Wayne enters, followed by Inspector Doran.) 

Wayne {indicating the different ones). My wife— 
Miss Neville—the housekeeper—Mr. Livingstone—the 
laundress’s niece. 

Doran {looks quickly from one to the other). You 
will all stand just where you were when the light was 
turned on. 

Tom {quickly stepping to the table back of divan). 
Right here. 

Luc. {crossing to stairs). And I was here. 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


29 


( The others take their places without speaking.) 

Doran. Do these people realize how serious this is, 
Mr. Wayne ? Do you realize it yourself ? 

Wayne {cautiously) . Why—er— I realize the neck¬ 
lace was valuable- 

Doran ( interrupting ). I see you don’t know. There 
are only four of those necklaces in existence. They are 
the property of the Principality of Graunauf. They were 
stolen from the Royal Palace and disposed of in this 
country. They are of historical value to Graunauf, so 
they set secret agents to work and two of the necklaces 
have been recovered. If any one can prove that they came 
into possession of one of them in an honest way, the 
Graunauf government is ready to pay a very large sum 
to get them back. On the other hand, if any one is con¬ 
victed of stealing one, the penalty is very severe. 

Nora ( crossing herself). Saint Patrick be koind! 

Tom. Oh, mother, help your erring child! 

(Marie gives him a startled look, hut Tom is looking 
at Doran with a broad grin.) 

Luc. Well, isn’t that a crime! 

Doran. Comes pretty near being! 

Wayne. Well, get to work. 

Doran {nods; goes to telephone) . Broxton 190. 
{Pause.) Hello! This is Doran. Send me three 
men—Jeffrey Wayne’s home. Tell them to watch house 
from outside. Front door, back door and French win¬ 
dow on west side! {Turns to Tom.) Now, I under¬ 
stand that you refuse to say what you were doing in this 
room. 

Tom. I was merely standing in the room. 

Doran. You refuse to tell why you came in? 

Tom. Yes, sir—just at present, anyway. 

Doran {turns to Mary). And do you still insist that 
you wanted a cracker? 

Mary. Yes, sir. 

Doran. Why particularly a cracker? 

Tom. Ever see a Polly who didn’t want a cracker? 



30 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Doran ( sharply; turning to Tom). That will do! 
I’m not talking to you. (Turns to Mary.) Well? 

Mary. I jist happened to see the cracker jar, an’ I 
didn’t see inything ilse to eat. 

Doran. And you didn’t know any one was in the 
room? 

Mary. No, sir. I thought they had gone out. 

Doran. Who ? 

Mary. Mr. and Mrs. Wayne. 

Doran. Then you knew they had been in here ? How 
did you know ? 

Nora. I told her. 

Doran {turning on Nora). That will do! You talk 
when you are spoken to. 

Nora. Shure, this is a free country, and I’ll be afther 
talking whin I plase. 

Doran. I’ll have you down at forty-nine Main Street 
in about two seconds if I hear another yip out of you. 

Marie {kindly). Really, Nora, you will be of more 
service to us here than in jail. 

Doran {turning to Mary). Now, then, how did you 
know Mr. and Mrs. Wayne were in here? 

Mary. Nora told me. 

Doran. Of course I expected you to say that. Now, 
if she told you they were in here, why did you think they 
had gone out? Come now. Answer. You were out¬ 
side some of the doors and heard them or saw them. 

Mary. Shupposin’ I was? Where’s the harm? 

Doran. That’s just what we are trying to find out! 
Now, what were you doing outside the door, and which 
door was it ? Come on ! Out with it! 

Mary. The center door, and I was afther tryin’ to 
get a look at Mrs. Wayne. 

Doran. What for? 

Mary. I’d been afther hearm’ a lot about her and her 
clothes and I jist wanted to see her. 

Nora. And that’s the honist truth, if I was to die this 
minit. 

Marie. I almost believe it is. 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 31 

Doran. It isn’t what we believe; it’s what we prove 
that counts. 

Marie ( placing her hand on Mary’s shoulder). But 
it seems as if this little girl is rather young to be mixed 
up in a serious theft, and she looks innocent. 

(Mary and Nora give Marie a grateful look.) 

Wayne. Glad you think so. I don’t like the girl’s 
looks at all, and haven’t from the beginning. 

Doran (to Mary). And you are the laundress’s 
niece? 

Mary. Yes, sir. 

Doran. And your name? 

Mary. Polly O’Toole. 

Doran. Is your aunt’s name O’Toole? 

Mary (hesitating) . Er—er- 

Nora. It’s Flannigan. 

Doran (wrathfully; to Nora). Did I speak to you? 
(Turns quickly to Mary.) Do you live with your aunt? 

Mary. Yes —(Nora, behind Doran, shakes her head.) 
er—no—that is—part of the time! 

Doran. Where does she live? 

(All are looking at Mary and Nora, unnoticed, spells 
the word on her fingers.) 

Mary (catching Nora’s signs). Dale Street. 

Doran. What number? 

(Nora quickly holds up five fingers, then two.) 

Mary. Fifty-two. 

Doran. H’m. Mr. Wayne says you seem to know 
this young man. (Turns to Tom.) 

Mary. Yes, sir. He’s Tommy Pratt. 

Doran. Where did you meet him? 

Tom. She never saw me before in her life! 

Mary (with a toss of her head). I saw him at Agnes 
Creighton’s. 

Tom. My word! What were you doing at Miss 
Creighton’s? Delivering laundry? 




32 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Mary. I was not! 

Doran (to Tom). You know Miss Creighton? 

Tom. Yes, sir. Tve met her. 

Mary. Ha! 

Tom. She is Judge Creighton’s daughter. 

Wayne (scornfully) . And that girl claims to be a 
friend of hers! 

Doran. On, we’ll settle that. (Goes to telephone.) 

Wayne. Wait! I don’t want Judge Creighton’s 
daughter drawn into anything unpleasant. 

Doran. Oh, I’ll be careful. (Looks up number in 
book.) Broxton 271 J. 

Tom. Oh, if you’re going to do that, why—it’s true, 
my name is Pratt and I go to the Creightons’ very often. 
Though how she (With a look at Mary.) knows it is be¬ 
yond me. 

Doran. Now you’re talking. (Pause.) Hello! Miss 
Agnes Creighton at home? If you please. (Pause.) 
Miss Creighton? I want to locate Miss Polly O’Toole. 
Will you tell me where I can find her? No, it’s not a 
joke. What’s that? A reporter? Well, supposing I am 
a reporter? Isn’t it all right that a reporter should inter¬ 
view Miss O’Toole? She will be at your house to-mor¬ 
row evening? What time? All right for me to call 
there? Thank you. Good-bye. ( Turns to Mary with 
a puzzled look.) Do you work for Miss Creighton? 

Mary. I does not. 

Doran. Why would a reporter have any possible rea¬ 
son for wanting to interview you? 

Mary. Shure you can foind out for yoursilf, you’re 
so smart! I ain’t handlin’ this case! 

Doran. Oh, I’ll find out all right. Don’t let that 
worry you! You’re trying to put something over, girlie, 
and this dame (Turns to Nora.) is helping you; but I 
warn you, you won’t get away with it. 

Wayne. Nora had nothing to do with the theft, no 
matter what her connection with this girl. She has 
worked faithfully for me for twenty years. 

Doran. She might work faithfully a lifetime, and 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


33 


Tom 
Luc. 
Nora 
Mary 
Doran 


then side step. I’m going to trace that necklace, Mr. 
Wayne, even if I prove your wife stole it. 

Wayne. How dare you? You idiot! Do you - 

Marie. Jeffrey! He’s quite right. 

Wayne. Right? To suggest you might have taken 
what I had just given you? 

Doran. Of course I haven’t the least idea that your 
wife is guilty, but I don’t know what motive any one in 
this room might have, and you should have learned by 
this time that the law is no respecter of persons. Now 
we’ll have a little searching party. You will each go to 
the next room with me one at a time. Who would like 
to go first? 

No time like the present. 

««*"*»•>• Shu“?wi„. 

I just as soon. 

That’s all right. We’ll call off the party. 
I didn’t think any one of you really had it on your per¬ 
son. (Turns to Lucerne.) Miss—er—Neville? (Lu¬ 
cerne nods.) Could it have been (Gives Tom a sar¬ 
castic glance.) Mr. Livingstone-Pratt who had you by the 
arm ? 

Luc. It most certainly could —(Suddenly stops.) not! 

Doran. Oh, is that so? And why the not? 

Luc. I think the one who was standing by me was 
much taller than I am. That was my impression. 

Doran (to Nora). And how about the one you en¬ 
countered ? 

Nora. A little feller. 

Doran. Might have been our young friend over here? 
I mean—for size? 

Nora. Shure it might; but he- 

Doran. Was down by that table while the other went 
out the door. H’m. Nora, where were you standing 
when the light was turned out? Inside or outside the 
door? 

Nora. Inside, o’ course. If I’d been outside wouldn’t 
I o’ been afther seein’ who turned the lights out ? 






34 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Doran. I was thinking you would. Now tell me. 
Did you see this girl (Indicates Mary.) in this room? 
Come now. Tell the truth! 

Nora. Shure, and shame the divil. Well, thin, I 
didn’t see her at all, at all. 

Doran. Did you see any one in this room other than 
Mr. and Mrs. Wayne? 

Nora. Not jist in the room. 

Wayne ( impatiently ). Talk sense, Nora. 

Nora. Shure, I’m tryin’ to, but it sames hard in this 
company. 

Doran. Go on. Tell us what you saw. 

Nora. Jist as the light wint out, I saw thot lady— 
(Looks at Lucerne.) open the study door. 

Marie E | ( to 9 et ^ er in surprise). The study door! 

Doran (to Lucerne). I thought you said you had 
just come down-stairs? 

Luc. I had! 

Doran. How do you account for Nora’s story? 

Luc. I don’t account for it. She is simply mistaken. 

Doran (to Tom). You were working in that study? 

Tom. Yes, sir. 

Doran. Was Miss Neville in there with you? 

Tom. She was not. 

Doran. Did you leave the study? 

Tom. Er—yes—once. I went out on the veranda. 
There’s a French window like this one leading onto this 
same veranda. 

Doran. Why did you go out ? 

Tom. It was hot in the study. I wanted some air. 

Doran. Could Miss Neville have been in the study 
while you were out? 

Tom (hesitates a second). I suppose it’s possible. 

Doran. Could you see into this room from the 
veranda ? 

Tom. Yes, sir. 

Doran. What was going on in here? 

Tom. Mr. Wayne put a chain with a charm around 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


35 


his wife’s neck. She took it off, and handed it to him 
and he put the box on the tea table and they went over 
by the fire. 

Doran. Young man, you are getting yourself in bad. 
That’s damaging evidence. 

Tom. I know that, but if we’re going to shame the 
devil, we might as well do a good job. 

Doran. Then when the light went out, you came into 
this room from the window? 

Tom. Yes, sir. 

Doran. And you knew exactly where the necklace 
was ? 

Tom. I did. 

Doran. Did you see that girl ( Indicates Mary.) or 
Miss Neville in here? 

Tom. I haven’t anything more to say. 

Doran. Oh, yes, you have. Come now! Out with 
it! 

Tom. Nothing doing. 

Doran. We’ll see about that. 

(Grabs Tom by the neck. Mary and Marie scream.) 

Wayne. There, there, Doran! You can’t choke it 
out of him. 

Doran ( with a snarl). Yes, I can. 

Mary ( rushing towards Doran). Let him alone! 

Marie. Jeffrey! 

Wayne ( sharply, pulling Tom away from Doran). 
Let up! 

Doran ( suddenly changing). Oh, well, if we’re go¬ 
ing to get—some—( With a keen glance at Marie and 
Mary.) of the ladies so worked up, we’ll wait until later. 
You may all go now. 

Wayne (astonished) . You’re going to let them go? 

Doran. To any part of the house they choose. They 
can’t leave. My men are outside. 

Wayne (nervously taking a pillow from divan and 
squeezing it). Good Lord! This is a lovely predica¬ 
ment. House surrounded by police! 


36 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Doran. I don’t think it will be for so very long. 

Wayne. You mean- 

Doran. I have a clue. Come, let’s make a wager, 
Mr. Wayne. A box of cigars that I have the guilty per¬ 
son within half an hour. 

Wayne ( coming forward ). Good gracious! You 
don’t mean it ? I’ll take you up. I’ll make it two boxes. 
Let’s see. It’s now—( Takes out his watch; holds it in 
his right hand.) five-forty-five. (Doran takes out his 
watch and shows it to Wayne. Wayne takes Doran’s 
watch in his left hand.) Yes, we agree. 

(Puts Doran’s watch in his pocket.) 

Doran. Think my watch keeps better time than 
yours ? 

Wayne. Eh? ( Suddenly discovers what he has 
done.) I beg your pardon, I’m sure. 

(Returns Doran’s watch.) 

Doran. I gave you people permission to leave the 
room. As you are not inclined to go, I will make that 
an order. I wish you to leave the room. Immediately, 
please! 

(They go reluctantly; Tom, l.. Lucerne up the stairs 
and Mary and Nora, c.) 

Marie. You wish us to go too? 

Doran. Certainly not. 

Wayne. Well, I’m greatly relieved that you are on 
the track of the guilty party so quickly. I hate to think 
that it is any of these people- 

Doran {interrupting) . Don’t let that worry you. It 
may not be. 

Wayne. But you suspect- 

Doran. No one at all. I haven’t the least idea in the 
world who has your necklace! 

Wayne. But you said- 

Doran. I just wanted to get them nerved up to see 
what the result would be. 






POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


37 


Marie. That is decidedly disappointing, Mr. Doran. 

Wayne (impatiently). I’ll say it is! (Doran begins 
to search room.) What are you doing now? 

Doran (disgusted). Playing tag with myself! 

Marie. Surely you don’t expect to find the necklace 
in this room? 

Doran. If it isn’t in this room, it was handed to an 
accomplice. That’s sure! 

Wayne. That’s right! That’s right! Here! Let 
me help! You hunt, too, Marie. 

(Wayne goes to tea table and begins to take up the 
different things.) 

Marie. Oh, I think maybe, Jeffrey, we had better 
leave it to Mr. Doran. 

Doran. That’s a good suggestion, madame. If he 
6 hould pick it up, he wouldn’t know he had it in his 
hand. 

Wayne. Oh, is that so? Is that so? Think I’m 
a lunatic, do you? 

Marie. Jeffrey! Please! 

(Marie takes up a tray of silver spoons and lets the 
spoons fall to the floor.) 

Wayne. There! Now look what you’ve done! My 
dear, that would have been a nice mess if it had been 
anything but silver. Glass, you know, or something like 
that. 

Marie. But it isn’t glass, dear, so we won’t worry 
about it. (Starts to pick the spoons up.) 

Wayne (helping her). Allow me! Allow me, my 
dear! 

(While they are picking up the spoons Doran goes to 
stairs and looks about; shakes out the portieres; sud¬ 
denly picks up the jewel box; turns with it in his 
hand and glances towards Wayne and Marie ; finds 
they are not observing his movements; slips box into 
his pocket; suddenly goes to c. door and looks out.) 



38 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Doran. Well, what are you looking for? Come in 
here! 

Nora ( coming to c. door). Who are yez talkin’ to? 

Marie. j Nora! 

Wayne. ) 

Wayne. Now see here, Nora- 

Nora. Shure, I’m afther seeing enough in this house! 
I’ll be afther doin’ me sight seein’ in some other place 
whin the ( With a glance at Doran.) Lord Mayor calls 
off the guard. 

Doran. I admire your impudence! 

Nora. Shure, I admire your noive. 

Wayne. Were you looking for something in the hall ? 

Nora. I was. 

Wayne ( excited and unconsciously imitating her). 
You was? 

Nora. Well, who are yez mocking? 

Wayne. Mocking? 

Nora. Yis, mocking! 

Wayne. I ? 

Nora. Yis—you! 

Wayne. Mocking? 

Nora. Yis—mocking! 

Wayne ( waving his hands in the air). What are 
you talking about ? Are you crazy ? 

Doran. For the love of Pete, cut it out! (To Nora.) 
What were you looking for? 

Nora. Shure, I dhropped a foot step an’ - 

Doran. That’s enough! I’m going to take you down 
to the station. 

Nora. Iny toime at all. 

Marie. Really, Nora, if you could help us! 

Nora (to Doran). Young man, youse go out in the 
hall and hev a hunt fer yersilf. If youse foind somethin’ 
yez don’t exphect to foind, youse’ll know it wuz what I 
did exphect to foind. [Exit, c. 

Doran (exasperated, looking after her). Can you 
beat that! (Turns away disgusted; suddenly looks to¬ 
wards door, r.) Sh! (Goes carefully to door, R. ; opens 




POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 39 

it suddenly. Mary stumbles into room.) Don’t wait to 
knock! Come in! 

Wayne. She was listening! 

Mary ( with a glance at Wayne). Gee! But youse 
quick at catching an idea! 

Doran. Now don’t you get fresh, girlie. We’ve had 
just about enough and it doesn’t pay in the end. What 
did you want in here? More crackers? 

Mary. I haven’t had one yit. 

Doran ( pointing to tea table). Help yourself! Mr. 
Wayne, will you and your wife accompany me to some 
room where we shall not be disturbed? There are some 
questions I would like to ask you. 

Wayne. Certainly, if you think- 

(Glances at Mary.) 

Doran. Oh, that will be all right. Let her have her 
lunch in peace. 

Mary (to Doran as he follows Marie and Wayne 
out, c.). Hope youse choke! 

Doran. Look out you don’t do that yourself on a 
cracker! 

(Mary goes to door, c., and looks after them. Tom 
enters, l. Mary, not noticing Tom, goes quickly to 
tea table; takes a glass bowl and starts to tiptoe to¬ 
wards door, r.) 

Tom. And why the bowl ? There aren’t any crackers 
in that? 

Mary ( turns with a start). Oh, forgit it! 

Tom ( crossing quickly to her). You better let me 
have that. 

Mary. No! (Tom catches her by the arm and holds 
her.) Plase! I got to hide it! 

Tom. Hide it? That bowl? Will mysteries never 
cease! Here, let me see it! 

Mary (trying to get away from him). No! Oh, all 
roight thin! (As he gets it away from her.) Take it I 

Tom (examines the bowl). I fail to see why - 




40 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


(Holds it up and looks at the bottom of it. Doran 
enters, c.) 

Doran. And what’s this little side show if I may 
inquire ? 

Tom ( still holding the bowl overhead). Oh—er—I— 
why, I belong to a fraternity that is going to give a Greek 
play and I’m going to do a little dance—the dance of the 
Grecian bowl. I was practicing. 

(Does some fancy steps, still holding the bowl aloft 
while Mary doubles up with laughter.) 

Doran. You don’t mean it? Well, take it from me, 
Mr. Livingstone-Pratt, you are going to be a knock-out! 
Let me relieve you. I’ll take charge of all exhibits. 

(Takes the bowl from Tom.) 

Tom. Oh, certainly—certainly—delighted! 

Doran. Don’t let me interrupt the rehearsal. Go 
right on. Polly will lend you the cracker jar. 

[Exits, c., with bowl. 

Mary. What’s he mean ? 

Tom. Guess he thinks we’re working together. First 
the necklace—then the cut glass. Too bad you won’t get 
a chance to hide it. I was interested in that idea. 

Mary. Oh, it’s all right now. I don’t want to hide 
it afther youse handled it. 

Tom. You don’t—after I—wait—wait. (Holds his 
head.) This is where I get off. 

Mary ( drawing near to Tom and speaking softly). 
That bowl wuz the nearest thing on the tea table to the 
jewel case and it had my finger marks on it. Now it’s 
got a lot o’ yours. 

Tom. Oh, my word, Polly O’Toole! This has gone 
to your head! 

Mary. It wuz koind of yez to hilp me out! Why did 
yez? 

Tom. I don’t know. You don’t deserve it! You got 
me in Dutch all right. How do you know Agnes Creigh¬ 
ton? 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


41 


Mary {with a laugh). Don’t yez wish yez knew? 

Tom ( exasperated). Darn it! There’s something fa¬ 
miliar about you. ( Suddenly seizes her by the arms.) 
Look here! 

Mary ( struggles to get away, and holds her head away 
from him). Let me go! 

Tom. I’m going to have a good look at you! ( Holds 

both her hands in one of his; puts the other hand under 
her chin and turns her face towards him.) Mary! As I 
live! Mary! 

(Lets her go and looks at her in astonishment.) 

Mary. Sh! Tom! Don’t give me away! 

Tom. But what in heaven’s name are you doing here? 

Mary. What are you doing here ? 

Tom. I’m working for Mr. Wayne—and ( Slowly and 
pointedly. ) you—know—why! 

Mary. But, Tom, to think it should be this house! 
That you are here! 

Tom. Why not here? It looks like a good job; and, 
although the old man is certainly the limit, I guess I can 
worry through. 

Mary. The old man happens to be Mary’s father! 

Tom {aghast). Mary! Oh, my word! My middle 
name is mess! 

Mary. Oh, don’t apologize! All you’ve seen of him 
is his temper, and that certainly is the limit! 

Tom. But why in the name of common sense are you 
masquerading like this in your father’s house? 

Mary. I don’t know as I want to tell you now, but 
there’s a reason. 

Tom. I should hope so! 

(Lucerne enters by stairs; speaks cautiously as she 
comes down the stairs.) 

Luc. Mr. Livingstone, I want to speak to you—alone. 

Mary. Shure! I’ll be going. [Exit, r. 

Luc. I think we had better have an understanding. 


42 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


(Goes to door, c., and looks out; comes back.) 

Tom. Good idea! Miss Neville, I saw you- 

{Hesitates.) 

Luc {nods). In the study! I felt quite sure you 
did. You were outside? 

Tom. Yes. On the veranda. I saw you standing by 
this door. You had it slightly open and you were lis¬ 
tening. 

Luc. Well? 

Tom. Well! 

Luc. Why didn’t you tell Doran? 

Tom. I didn’t like to. You have been a friend of 
my—er—of Mrs. Wayne’s for years. 

Luc. How do you know that ? 

Tom. Why-—why—some one mentioned it. 

Luc. Oh, did they? (Marie enters, c., hurriedly .) 
Marie, is this Tommy? 

Marie. Why, I believe he said his name was Tom. 
{To Tom.) Didn’t you? 

Luc. Is this your son? 

Marie. Lucerne, for mercy’s sake! 

Luc. Oh, we’ll have to stop this hush business and 
get at facts! 

Marie. But this is no time for explanations to Mr. 
Wayne. 

Tom. I’ll say it isn’t. 

Marie. Lucerne, have you- 

Luc. No, I haven’t the necklace, if that’s what you 
mean! I tried to take it, I’ll admit. 

Marie. Lucerne! 

Luc. Oh, I didn’t intend to steal it! I just had a 
wild idea for a minute to see if it was mine. If it wasn’t, 
I was going to put it back. If it was mine I was going to 
tell you and Mr. Wayne, of course. After things hap¬ 
pened, I realized that story wouldn’t go with Doran. 

Tom. What do you mean by saying you tried to 
take it? 

Luc. I got the case, but the necklace wasn’t in it. 




POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


43 


Marie ( astonished). It wasn’t? 

Tom. Some one had beaten you to it? 

Luc. Yes! 

Marie. Where’s the case? 

Luc. I slipped it into this curtain ( Goes to stairs.) 
when I was sitting on the stairs. ( Shakes out the cur¬ 
tain.) It’s gone! 

Tom. Doran, of course! 

Marie. Yes, he searched this room! 

(Wayne enters, c., followed by Doran.) 

Doran (in the door). Yes, come in here! 

Nora (comes to door, c.). And what does yez want 
now? 

Doran. We’re goirfg to have a show-down, and we 
want you in at the finish! (Mary softly opens door, r. ; 
steps into room; quickly starts to withdraw.) Oh, hello, 
girlie! Hungry again? Here! Take the jar! (Hands 
her the cracker jar from table; she takes it; turns up her 
nose at Doran and deliberately takes out a cracker and 
eats it.) And stay right here! The party isn’t com¬ 
plete without you. Now, Mr. Wayne, I’ll let you have 
what I have been able to gather from what facts we have. 
Whether his name is Livingstone or Pratt, this young 
man (Turns to Tom.) had nothing to do with the theft. 
He told a straight story about how he came into this 
room. He shielded Miss Neville because she is a friend 
of Mrs. Wayne’s, and there is something between him 
and your wife. 

Wayne (at the top of his voice). What? 

Doran. Hold on! There is also something between 
him and this girl. (Indicates Mary.) You remember 
they were the only ones who objected to my choking 
him? He saw Miss Neville in the study. (Turns to 
Lucerne.) You came down the other stairway and 
through the study when you came down to dinner? 

Luc. Yes. 

Doran. Intentionally or accidentally? 

Luc. Accidentally! 



44 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


Doran. You stole the jewel case from the table and 
found it was empty. 

Wayne. Empty ? 

Doran. Better make a clean breast of it, hadn’t you? 

Luc. I owned one of those necklaces. I lost it in an 
unusual way, a few days ago. I merely intended to see 
if this was my necklace. 

Marie. That’s true, Jeffrey! I’m sure it is. She 
told me about it before you came home. 

Wayne (confused). But the necklace was gone! 
See here, Doran! You haven’t done a thing about those 
men that got away. I can’t understand- 

Doran. There weren’t any men. This young man 
had Miss Neville by the arm. She knew it and wouldn’t 
say so because he was shielding her. No one had Nora 
by the arm. She was bluffing! 

Wayne. But why—and the lights! 

Doran. Nora turned the lights out because she didn’t 
want that girl (Turns to Mary.) caught in here, and then 
she lied about some one going out the door to turn sus¬ 
picion from her! 

Nora (who has been regarding Doran open mouthed , 
crosses herself). Holy Saint Patrick! 

Doran (suddenly goes to Mary and removes her wig; 
Mary gives a scream). Ever see this girl before? 

Wayne. Mary! 

Doran. Know her? 

Wayne. Know her? She’s my daughter! 

Marie (with a cry). Jeffrey! 

Wayne (suddenly remembering). Marie, my dear, 
what can I say? 

Marie. Don’t say a word, Jeffrey! (Goes to Tom 
and puts her hand on his shoulder.) This is my son! 

Wayne (completely staggered). My God! 

Doran (to Mary). What’s the meaning of your per¬ 
formance ? 

Mary. I wanted to see Mrs. Wayne. 

Marie (goes to Mary and puts her arm around her). 
My dear, I can understand. 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 45 

Doran. Miss Creighton knew about the Polly O’Toole 
business ? 

Mary. Yes, it’s a part I’m going to play. 

Wayne ( regarding Doran wonderingly). Doran, you 
beat anything I ever heard of. I apologize to you. I 
thought you weren’t doing anything. 

Doran. This was all easy enough. The point is— 
where is the necklace? I haven’t done anything if I 
don’t locate that. It isn’t likely your daughter has it 
and- 

Tom ( suddenly stepping forward). I bet I know! 
Er—ahem—my dear father, what did you do with it? 

Wayne. God bless my soul, is he talking to me? 
What do you mean? 

Doran. By Jove, I never thought of that! Yes, Mr. 
Wayne, where did you put it when Mrs. Wayne took it 
off? 

Wayne. In the case, of course! Are you trying to 
make me out a lunatic? 

Doran. Certainly not, but every one in this room can 
testify that you don’t know what you are doing with 
your hands. Now you thought you put it in the case— 
but you didn’t. You dropped it somewhere. Think! 

Wayne ( helplessly, beginning to search in his pockets). 
Why—I—I—never heard such foolishness—never in my 
life- 

Mary {who has been calmly eating crackers , suddenly 
gives a cry). In the cracker jar! 

{Takes it from jar and holds it up.) 

All. What? As I live! It is! 

Doran {taking it). Mr. Pratt, I take off my hat to 
you. Miss Neville, can you identify this? 

Luc. {looks at it). Yes! It is mine! My initials! 
There! 

Doran. Get ready to come down to the station with 
me at once. And you also, Mr. Wayne. You will have 
to tell how you came into possession of it. 

Wayne. Certainly—certainly—anything you say— 




46 


POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


God bless my soul! What am I ever going to do to make 
up for all the fuss I’ve caused over nothing? 

Doran. Miss Neville won’t say anything when she 
finds what the Graunauf government is willing to pay for 
the return of that necklace. 

Luc. It’s too good to be true! I’ll be ready in a 
minute, Mr. Doran. (Hurries up the stairs .) 

Doran. As for me, Mr. Wayne, I can never thank 
you enough for calling me on this. I tell you it means 
something to locate one of these trinkets. 

(Holds up the necklace.) 

Nora. Well, I’d loike to ask if iny wan in this house 
is goin’ ter eat iny dinner this noight? 

Marie. Yes, all of us! Jeffrey, you and Lucerne 
bring Mr. Doran back with you. 

Doran. Why, thank you, Mrs. Wayne. It will give 
me the greatest pleasure. [Exit, c. 

Marie (turns to Tom). And now it is your turn to 
explain your presence in this house. 

Tom. Certainly. I love Mary. 

Wayne (at the top of his voice). What? 

Tom. She promised to become engaged to me if I 
could prove there was any man in me. She didn’t be¬ 
lieve I would ever be willing to get a job and go to work. 
Now I have proved that I can, she will probably be will¬ 
ing that I should finish my college course. 

Wayne (with a gasp). What? Mary! You chil¬ 
dren—God bless my soul- 

Mary (warningly). Father, there isn’t a single come¬ 
back from you. 

Tom. How about it, mother? 

Marie. I fail to see, Jeffrey, how we can have any¬ 
thing to say about this. 

Wayne. I guess you’re right, my dear. I guess you’re 
right. (As she leads him out, c.) But those—two chil¬ 
dren ! What in heaven’s name is the world coming to ? 

Tom (joyfully). My word, Mary! Hearts are 
trumps! 



POLLY WANTS A CRACKER 


47 


Mary. Tom Pratt, how did you dare to tell every¬ 
thing like that without asking me? I am never going to 
speak to you again. (Walks to stairs and starts up.) 

Tom (quickly takes a cracker from the jar and starts 
after her). Polly! 

(Grabs her; she makes a misstep and falls hack into 
his arms.) 

Mary. Tom! Let me go ! (Struggles for a second.) 

Tom (holding her around the waist with his left arm, 
holds the cracker up in front of her). Want it? 

Mary {suddenly laughs). H’m! Maybe! 


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